My Firsthand Experience Of Unrecognized & Untreated Mental Health Issues, And The Downward Spiral That It All Creates

Rarely have I talked about it because I feared most would not be able to understand. 

My friends and counselors that I've shared with have encouraged me to tell my story. I've never been one to draw attention to myself, but my story is one that I believe can help other people. Mine is a story of poverty, oppression, mental health, and being part of a marginalized population that afflicted me as overlooked and the underdog. 

I will share my family's story and how I am changing the world for good. Please know that my family has permitted me to share their story in hopes that it will illuminate real-life struggles and be used for good to help those who may need it. It takes a great deal of humility and selflessness on my family members to allow me to share this story. For that, I am grateful. Where there is no struggle, there is no story. 

When I was a boy, nine grandchildren were close in age, and we all had close relationships with each other. I firmly believe that they all wanted to do good in life and wished for more. Unfortunately, of those nine grandchildren, I am the only one who can fully financially support myself and my family and is mentally healthy. 

Of the other eight grandchildren there were unfortunate outcomes:

• Three were deceased by the ages of 40, 35 and 19
• Two are struggling with mental health and are currently in prison or jail
• Two are struggling with mental health, addiction, and more
• One is currently working on getting by with mental severe illness implications 

Mental health, defined by the World Health Organization, is “a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community”. 

Now, I believe that my family is, in general, good people. They are, in most cases, giving and caring. Most of my family would give you their last dollar or the shirt off their own back. (I've seen it time and time again) This problem is much larger than their good intentions. It is the vicious cycle of poverty, lack of education, mental health issues, and the downward spiral that it all creates. I hope never to have to witness this spiral again, so this is why I'm sharing. I can't allow it to happen anymore, and the buck stops here for my family. This curse is broken, and I plan to lead future generations into a new life without it! It is what I've worked for, my entire life, and why we are choosing to bring my nephews into our family.

I was fortunate enough, when I was young, to recognize the situation that I was in and realized that it was not typical for everyone. Still, it was customary for many families and us throughout the world. In that, I understood that I had to become the change that I wished to see, fully believing in hope for the future.

(Here is the challenging part)

This vicious cycle swallows people up and ruins their lives. It projects negativity onto others. People don't like to hear this, but ultimately, it's our choices that make us who we are, even though we all struggle differently, and some struggle more than others. We can choose to become bitter or better. I choose better and can attest that it is much easier said than done. 

So here I am, the outlier in a terrible situation. I carry a lot of sorrow and a heavy burden to be what they were not able to be, but more than anything, I have a lot of hope that we can use this story to help shed light on more significant issues. I believe that every one of us can make the world a better place. I think my family can be used to influence change. 

In general, with a few exceptions, I understand why it all unfolded this way for my family. I cannot judge or condemn anyone, as they carried the burden of the vicious cycle that was passed down to them. People may initially be a product of their environment. But, I believe there is hope and choices that can be made to break that cycle. The previous generation's problems have indeed been dumped on my family, along with the new issues created, thus flowing into a nightmare of a downward spiral. Their normal pulled them in and swallowed them up just as it had done the generation before them.

I still struggle with sleepless nights when I think of those loved ones I’ve lost. My heart breaks, and I become emotional when I look back at my long and lonely journey and for my family, for they never had a fair chance at normalcy. It may seem that I have little in common with them; however, through my willingness to be open and my personal growth, I have come to see that I have so much more in common with them than even I knew. Because of their hardships, when I see the poor, the oppressed, and those struggling in life, I see my family, and I see myself. These are my people. This is my family. 

I hope to help others see that even those with less than ideal circumstances are just as human as themselves. I will be a voice for those who do not have a voice and those whose voices fall on deaf ears. If we can prevent one more life from being ruined by these generational curses, then we ALL have to come together to do it!

In my future blogs, I will begin to tell more of my and my family's story. Until then, I would ask that if you have a story yourself, that you share it, along with your struggles, obstacles that you have overcome, and advice you'd give your younger self! Who knows? You may change a life!